So, I thought I'd wait til something interesting happened to update the blog. This has been a social-heavy week, going out every available weekend night and a couple during the week. I'm consciously being more social, especially since I have my own place now, and I can always come home to a quiet space after being on walkabout all day. I went with a friend to a delicious sushi place up the street called The Drunken Fish. They have a billion different selections of sake and of course yummy food. I'm a crunchy roll kind of girl -- love the shrimp.
I have a thing about introducing people to my favorite bar right now. It's called Kona Lounge. I went there last night with "my boys," some guys I used to do field work with. Kona's a tiki bar, meaning it has a hula girl statue that really shakes her hips, (fake) thatched roofing and a lot of those tiki heads, like the amulet the Brady Bunch found when they vacationed in Hawaii. Did I mention they have a volcano? It spits smoke. No virgins are sacrificed. I'd been to this place before I lived within walking distance, and incidentally moved to place where it is super accessible. I was pleasantly surprised, let me tell you. If you're in the Oakland/Piedmont area, I'd consider it a must-visit. Especially since the hugely awesome Mountain View Cemetery is just a little beyond it. If I cared about dying, I'd want to be buried there. I have almost been run over by deer in that part of town, so it's a bit of a magical spot -- deer in Oakland.
So the boy's night out was fun, all the good stuff, but last night I had a dream about one of my friends. Sex dream. I haven't had a sex dream in ages! It's weird how in real life sex would be awkward and feel just a little not-right when with a friend for the first time, but in dreams all that is just gone. If real life worked like that I'd probably have three husbands and a passel of kids by now. My friends are awesome: strong, funny, relatively sensitive, quirky, all the things I like in a guy. But they're my friends because I have to go down the romantic road within the first, maybe, month of knowing a person well, or else they are classified as friend forever. If they try to kiss me at some random stage in our friendship it's going to feel like kissing my brother, if I had one.
Moral of the above story: men, if you are attracted to a woman, make it known early, even if you don't act on it right away. Then, as she forms a sold opinion of you, and you of her, you can both be creating a romantic partner avatar in your heads. Once the friend avatar is built, there can be conversion, but it's a much tougher road.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Home stretch, day two
Man, I am beat, America! Wednesdays are a tough haul for me--I drive somewhere around 100+ miles and have a back to back to back schedule. I entertained the idea of going to the gym. Then I realized I was too tired to move.
Rain. Lots of it. Gross.
I went out for some delicious sushi at the Drunken Fish last night. I love the bay area for its delicious food and just as delicious people. Both nourishing in their own ways.
Rain. Lots of it. Gross.
I went out for some delicious sushi at the Drunken Fish last night. I love the bay area for its delicious food and just as delicious people. Both nourishing in their own ways.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A month to go
Dear Jesus. One month left. Never thought it'd happen.
I'm having a good time in therapy, feel like I've got myself the most together now than I have in a long time. I'm actually feel as though I am emotionally ready for a relationship after I go on vacation for a couple weeks in April. I'm a bit too frazzled from work at this moment, but a couple short breaks and I'll be ready to rock.
As for being physically ready for a relationship...soccer season begins again this weekend, so that'll help, but I'd like some definition in my belly before anyone sees me naked. Currently trying out gyms, may go with 24 Hour Fitness and get a personal trainer, just for health and happiness in perpetuity, not just for this project.
From here on out, a short post a day. It's excitement time, America.
Reading:
I'm having a good time in therapy, feel like I've got myself the most together now than I have in a long time. I'm actually feel as though I am emotionally ready for a relationship after I go on vacation for a couple weeks in April. I'm a bit too frazzled from work at this moment, but a couple short breaks and I'll be ready to rock.
As for being physically ready for a relationship...soccer season begins again this weekend, so that'll help, but I'd like some definition in my belly before anyone sees me naked. Currently trying out gyms, may go with 24 Hour Fitness and get a personal trainer, just for health and happiness in perpetuity, not just for this project.
From here on out, a short post a day. It's excitement time, America.
Reading:
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Why I don't date
Okay, so I am generally not a dater. There are people out there who probably thought we dated, but I never classified it that way...but if one party calls it a date and the other doesn't, is it still a relationship? Kind of a tree falling in the woods situation.
But this isn't exactly what this post is about. I like to hang out with guys. Not exclusively, of course, my girl friends are who keep me sane! But I have a lot of guy friends. What worries me, however, is the few of those friends that would endanger our years of friendship for the opportunity to have sex with me. Now, sitting down and having a conversation about it is one thing, that the possibility of wrecking our current relationship even crossed the guy's mind makes me more likely to ultimately sleep with him. But if he just tries to jump my bones one night after hitting the scene he is so not getting anywhere! Are we, or are we not adults? We're not stupid teenagers anymore and we generally know what ramifications our actions will have.
This scenario recently happened to me. At home, I just shook my head, marveled at how quickly sex could revert us back to kids. This single action, had I allowed it, would have completely doomed our friendship.
Bottom line, if impulse control is still as issue with you at 30+, you might need to re-examine your thought processes. I know mine to be the exact opposite, a burden of over-thinking that will occasionally overwhelm me to the point that I'll just ignore the chatter in my head all together, come what may. I tend to do this less in relationships now, thanks in part to this fast, to therapy, and to growing up.
And a note to all you guy friends out there. If you're pining for your girl friends, be prepared to have a sit-down talk about going down the romantic road with her. If you just fall into bed one night in all likelihood you two will never speak again after that (maybe once or twice, super awkwardly before you fall off). If you're willing to sacrifice a friendship, by all means, try jumping right in. But if you want to sustain a relationship, even after (God forbid) you break up, be an adult, think it through, and talk first.
But this isn't exactly what this post is about. I like to hang out with guys. Not exclusively, of course, my girl friends are who keep me sane! But I have a lot of guy friends. What worries me, however, is the few of those friends that would endanger our years of friendship for the opportunity to have sex with me. Now, sitting down and having a conversation about it is one thing, that the possibility of wrecking our current relationship even crossed the guy's mind makes me more likely to ultimately sleep with him. But if he just tries to jump my bones one night after hitting the scene he is so not getting anywhere! Are we, or are we not adults? We're not stupid teenagers anymore and we generally know what ramifications our actions will have.
This scenario recently happened to me. At home, I just shook my head, marveled at how quickly sex could revert us back to kids. This single action, had I allowed it, would have completely doomed our friendship.
Bottom line, if impulse control is still as issue with you at 30+, you might need to re-examine your thought processes. I know mine to be the exact opposite, a burden of over-thinking that will occasionally overwhelm me to the point that I'll just ignore the chatter in my head all together, come what may. I tend to do this less in relationships now, thanks in part to this fast, to therapy, and to growing up.
And a note to all you guy friends out there. If you're pining for your girl friends, be prepared to have a sit-down talk about going down the romantic road with her. If you just fall into bed one night in all likelihood you two will never speak again after that (maybe once or twice, super awkwardly before you fall off). If you're willing to sacrifice a friendship, by all means, try jumping right in. But if you want to sustain a relationship, even after (God forbid) you break up, be an adult, think it through, and talk first.
Monday, February 7, 2011
A brand new day
Well, well. Guess who just got back into the game.
It's a month and a half til I can look at men in a romantic light again, and with the early, gorgeous California spring coming in like a wave of cologne, I'm taking it like a long-wave surfer...slow, easy and with ultimate panache. I've got a couple dates lined up this weekend, with strikingly similar young men. Skinny, Jewish, awkward, adorable...I can't really get into why I find the guys I do attractive. No one seems to particularly understand it, not even me, but I can only follow my heart.
I dropped my number to a very cute bartender today too...I mean, seriously, bartenders must get like a hundred numbers a night. But he liked Serenity and we bonded over it. He struck me as a young thing, but I'm young at heart so it usually works out.
Take note, America. It's about to get old-fashioned wild up in here. In fact, my friend Rebeccah is living my opposite life, taking on the deluge while I'm in my dearth, and we are discussing a year of vice-versa come May. Not sure if we can live through that, either of us, so we will see.
Later, America.
It's a month and a half til I can look at men in a romantic light again, and with the early, gorgeous California spring coming in like a wave of cologne, I'm taking it like a long-wave surfer...slow, easy and with ultimate panache. I've got a couple dates lined up this weekend, with strikingly similar young men. Skinny, Jewish, awkward, adorable...I can't really get into why I find the guys I do attractive. No one seems to particularly understand it, not even me, but I can only follow my heart.
I dropped my number to a very cute bartender today too...I mean, seriously, bartenders must get like a hundred numbers a night. But he liked Serenity and we bonded over it. He struck me as a young thing, but I'm young at heart so it usually works out.
Take note, America. It's about to get old-fashioned wild up in here. In fact, my friend Rebeccah is living my opposite life, taking on the deluge while I'm in my dearth, and we are discussing a year of vice-versa come May. Not sure if we can live through that, either of us, so we will see.
Later, America.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Snow days
Well, well. It turns out there's some sort of gigantic storm dumping snow on the east and even making it cold down in Texas. Hm. I miss snow, but not that much.
Puxatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, as the east dug out of deep snow, so there's an early spring coming. Here in California we already knew. Those crazy yellow tree/shrub things are blooming already. I don't know what these trees are, but the leaves look a bit like time ferns, and they produce so much pollen that a ridiculous amount of people are allergic.
It's been such a sunny winter! Usually the cloudiness really gets me down and I get kinda sad. La Nina, thanks little lady. The lack of malaise has gotten me better focused on the task at hand, getting myself right before this fast is over in a couple months. I'm continuing with some personal therapy, trying to address my internal isolationism (as manifested by a fast, of course!) and I'm wading into a little dating. Nothing serious, just a cup of tea here and there, sitting on a hill or in the cemetery, taking in a view. I've got no agenda and I'm not pushing things one way or another. It's very...peaceful. The new phase of my life will be a serene one.
It's late, so I'm going to try to catch some sleep. I've been a little sleepless lately, just too much to think about. Work is mighty busy now, lots of events to coordinate. Hopefully everything works out.
Puxatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, as the east dug out of deep snow, so there's an early spring coming. Here in California we already knew. Those crazy yellow tree/shrub things are blooming already. I don't know what these trees are, but the leaves look a bit like time ferns, and they produce so much pollen that a ridiculous amount of people are allergic.
It's been such a sunny winter! Usually the cloudiness really gets me down and I get kinda sad. La Nina, thanks little lady. The lack of malaise has gotten me better focused on the task at hand, getting myself right before this fast is over in a couple months. I'm continuing with some personal therapy, trying to address my internal isolationism (as manifested by a fast, of course!) and I'm wading into a little dating. Nothing serious, just a cup of tea here and there, sitting on a hill or in the cemetery, taking in a view. I've got no agenda and I'm not pushing things one way or another. It's very...peaceful. The new phase of my life will be a serene one.
It's late, so I'm going to try to catch some sleep. I've been a little sleepless lately, just too much to think about. Work is mighty busy now, lots of events to coordinate. Hopefully everything works out.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
New Year
Well, blog, it's a new year. I made pretty standard resolutions: write more, weigh less and get my black ass to Dublin. I've never flow across the pond, and a big, gorgeous city like Dublin will probably be an awesome start. I also kinda want to take my sister's dog on a vacation. Like to a ranch or something so she can run around. She doesn't get much chance to run around where she is. For that matter, I don't get much chance to run around being in a city, so it'd be as much for me as her. I'll have to see if I can work that out.
Getting back into the grind is tough after the holidays. I had forgotten that. I think I forget every year. I'm looking forward to Spring when everything is both winding down and ramping up again. Also Spring will bring the second half of my odyssey, wherein I can experience the pleasure of other people to a full extent again.
The east coast, where I spent my holiday, was as nice as I remembered it. It snowed on Christmas day in Atlanta. In Atlanta! Thanks, El Nino. It was just enough to cover everything in white, but not enough to inconvenience my travel too much. A lot of people got stuck in airports for a while, but I managed to beat the weather. It isn't to say the experience was without convenience, though. My bag got delayed overnight and came in the next morning on the only flight that wasn't grounded by weather. Lucky me! I just was without my various sundries for a few hours.
My book, When Heaven Calls, should be re-available on Amazon quite soon, I am link-imaging it. We ran out of the first batch so got a new one cooked up. I'm ghostwriting a piece right now and working on a sequel to WHC as well. It's slow going with work and life, but as I said, resolution to get more writing in.
Hope you holidays weren't a hassle, world, and I'll talk more in the new year!
Getting back into the grind is tough after the holidays. I had forgotten that. I think I forget every year. I'm looking forward to Spring when everything is both winding down and ramping up again. Also Spring will bring the second half of my odyssey, wherein I can experience the pleasure of other people to a full extent again.
The east coast, where I spent my holiday, was as nice as I remembered it. It snowed on Christmas day in Atlanta. In Atlanta! Thanks, El Nino. It was just enough to cover everything in white, but not enough to inconvenience my travel too much. A lot of people got stuck in airports for a while, but I managed to beat the weather. It isn't to say the experience was without convenience, though. My bag got delayed overnight and came in the next morning on the only flight that wasn't grounded by weather. Lucky me! I just was without my various sundries for a few hours.
My book, When Heaven Calls, should be re-available on Amazon quite soon, I am link-imaging it. We ran out of the first batch so got a new one cooked up. I'm ghostwriting a piece right now and working on a sequel to WHC as well. It's slow going with work and life, but as I said, resolution to get more writing in.
Hope you holidays weren't a hassle, world, and I'll talk more in the new year!
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