And the improvements begin

I am all set to take a singles class with a licensed MFT. It's about getting to know ourselves a bit more, understanding our choices when it comes to our mates, and hopefully understanding what would ultimately make us happy. I suppose I see this as a real cementing point in my quest...not just being avoidant, but being proactive and present in my search for emotional balance and happiness.

I am supposed to be one of the youngest people in this class, which is funny to me. To think, most people are engaged or married by 30. I still see myself as somewhat like a kid. I'm growing and changing everyday. If you pick your partner so early in life, what's to say you won't grow and change in two different directions? Are the challenges that develop worth the fight? Do you just take your chances and hope you remain together? Maybe this class will help me ease my apprehensions, or at least get some answers to my major challenges to young marriage (or even, marriage in general).

In the mean time, America, my fast continues...

Responses

I thought it'd be fun to have a post dedicated to responses I've gotten from the big reveal (A La Him Her Him Again The End of Him).

Roomies:

M - Are you kidding? A whole year? You should have told everybody before you started it so you could've had an awesome last hurrah.
A - That's admirable. Doesn't seem so hard. You can pull it off.
L - This is such a Sex and the City conversation. One person says it's a good idea, one says you'll never make it, but everyone supports you anyway.

Friends:

D - You're going to pull off this concept! I can't believe you're doing The Fast yourself.

M2 - Wow...I hope I didn't have anything to do with that decision...

There were a couple interested/involved parties I neglected to tell before I began the Fast, so I'll have to break the news gently. We'll see how that turns out. Typical fire sign me; diving into big stuff with no attention to ramifications at the time. I'm sure everyone will understand...

The Fast: the plan

The Fast

The plan: Okay, the plan is pretty simple. Beginning on my birthday, April 1^st, 2010, I’m officially on a one year abstinence plan, until my birthday comes in 2011. The purpose? I’m 29 this year, and I’m taking the year to cleanse my twenties and get myself emotionally ready for my thirties.

The first question most people have is why? Think back. Your twenties are a notoriously immature time in life, when you’re suddenly unleashed from your parents, and you spend government-subsidized hours wasting time, getting high and making terrible decisions. I chose to focus on one particular area of stupidity: relationships. Oh, the mistakes I have made. Some people are lucky enough to find a well-adjusted other, and begin a long-term relationship during this troubled decade. Those people are both observant and lucky. I was too busy living as fast as I could to pay close attention to the people around me. I got my BA, I played in three or four bands (I drum), I got my MS, I wrote a book, I worked 40-50 hour weeks...in sum, I hustled. I'm still hustling. This is an attempt to simplify, clear my head a little bit, and maybe feel a bit less jangled. Right now life is so cluttered, there's no room to add another person. Is it a wonder I haven't found someone to fit into the tiny chink of space I have available in my life?

In this interim between dating and destiny, I'll be taking classes on emotional well-being, relationships, general personal improvement, so I am my most shining, awesome self when I hit 30, and hopefully I'll find someone shinning and bright on the other side.

Romantic comedies would dictate I find Mr. Right during this fast, and can do little to advance our relationship til it's over. Ha, well, we can all hope, right? For now, wish me luck! I'm 10 days in, and staying strong so far. Stay tuned...updates to come.