Why I don't date

Okay, so I am generally not a dater.  There are people out there who probably thought we dated, but I never classified it that way...but if one party calls it a date and the other doesn't, is it still a relationship?  Kind of a tree falling in the woods situation.

But this isn't exactly what this post is about.  I like to hang out with guys.  Not exclusively, of course, my girl friends are who keep me sane!  But I have a lot of guy friends. What worries me, however, is the few of those friends that would endanger our years of friendship for the opportunity to have sex with me.  Now, sitting down and having a conversation about it is one thing, that the possibility of wrecking our current relationship even crossed the guy's mind makes me more likely to ultimately sleep with him.  But if he just tries to jump my bones one night after hitting the scene he is so not getting anywhere!  Are we, or are we not adults?  We're not stupid teenagers anymore and we generally know what ramifications our actions will have.

This scenario recently happened to me.  At home, I just shook my head, marveled at how quickly sex could revert us back to kids.  This single action, had I allowed it, would have completely doomed our friendship.

Bottom line, if impulse control is still as issue with you at 30+, you might need to re-examine your thought processes.  I know mine to be the exact opposite, a burden of over-thinking that will occasionally overwhelm me to the point that I'll just ignore the chatter in my head all together, come what may.  I tend to do this less in relationships now, thanks in part to this fast, to therapy, and to growing up.

And a note to all you guy friends out there.  If you're pining for your girl friends, be prepared to have a sit-down talk about going down the romantic road with her.  If you just fall into bed one night in all likelihood you two will never speak again after that (maybe once or twice, super awkwardly before you fall off).  If you're willing to sacrifice a friendship, by all means, try jumping right in.  But if you want to sustain a relationship, even after (God forbid) you break up, be an adult, think it through, and talk first.

A brand new day

Well, well.  Guess who just got back into the game.

It's a month and a half til I can look at men in a romantic light again, and with the early, gorgeous California spring coming in like a wave of cologne, I'm taking it like a long-wave surfer...slow, easy and with ultimate panache.  I've got a couple dates lined up this weekend, with strikingly similar young men.  Skinny, Jewish, awkward, adorable...I can't really get into why I find the guys I do attractive.  No one seems to particularly understand it, not even me, but I can only follow my heart.

I dropped my number to a very cute bartender today too...I mean, seriously, bartenders must get like a hundred numbers a night.  But he liked Serenity and we bonded over it.  He struck me as a young thing, but I'm young at heart so it usually works out.

Take note, America.  It's about to get old-fashioned wild up in here.  In fact, my friend Rebeccah is living my opposite life, taking on the deluge while I'm in my dearth, and we are discussing a year of vice-versa come May. Not sure if we can live through that, either of us, so we will see.

Later, America.

Snow days

Well, well.  It turns out there's some sort of gigantic storm dumping snow on the east and even making it cold down in Texas.  Hm.  I miss snow, but not that much.

Puxatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, as the east dug out of deep snow, so there's an early spring coming.  Here in California we already knew.  Those crazy yellow tree/shrub things are blooming already.  I don't know what these trees are, but the leaves look a bit like time ferns, and they produce so much pollen that a ridiculous amount of people are allergic.

It's been such a sunny winter!  Usually the cloudiness really gets me down and I get kinda sad.  La Nina, thanks little lady.  The lack of malaise has gotten me better focused on the task at hand, getting myself right before this fast is over in a couple months.  I'm continuing with some personal therapy, trying to address my internal isolationism (as manifested by a fast, of course!) and I'm wading into a little dating.  Nothing serious, just a cup of tea here and there, sitting on a hill or in the cemetery, taking in a view.  I've got no agenda and I'm not pushing things one way or another.  It's very...peaceful.  The new phase of my life will be a serene one.

It's late, so I'm going to try to catch some sleep.  I've been a little sleepless lately, just too much to think about.  Work is mighty busy now, lots of events to coordinate.  Hopefully everything works out.