Why I don't date

Okay, so I am generally not a dater.  There are people out there who probably thought we dated, but I never classified it that way...but if one party calls it a date and the other doesn't, is it still a relationship?  Kind of a tree falling in the woods situation.

But this isn't exactly what this post is about.  I like to hang out with guys.  Not exclusively, of course, my girl friends are who keep me sane!  But I have a lot of guy friends. What worries me, however, is the few of those friends that would endanger our years of friendship for the opportunity to have sex with me.  Now, sitting down and having a conversation about it is one thing, that the possibility of wrecking our current relationship even crossed the guy's mind makes me more likely to ultimately sleep with him.  But if he just tries to jump my bones one night after hitting the scene he is so not getting anywhere!  Are we, or are we not adults?  We're not stupid teenagers anymore and we generally know what ramifications our actions will have.

This scenario recently happened to me.  At home, I just shook my head, marveled at how quickly sex could revert us back to kids.  This single action, had I allowed it, would have completely doomed our friendship.

Bottom line, if impulse control is still as issue with you at 30+, you might need to re-examine your thought processes.  I know mine to be the exact opposite, a burden of over-thinking that will occasionally overwhelm me to the point that I'll just ignore the chatter in my head all together, come what may.  I tend to do this less in relationships now, thanks in part to this fast, to therapy, and to growing up.

And a note to all you guy friends out there.  If you're pining for your girl friends, be prepared to have a sit-down talk about going down the romantic road with her.  If you just fall into bed one night in all likelihood you two will never speak again after that (maybe once or twice, super awkwardly before you fall off).  If you're willing to sacrifice a friendship, by all means, try jumping right in.  But if you want to sustain a relationship, even after (God forbid) you break up, be an adult, think it through, and talk first.