Okay, so I am generally not a dater. There are people out there who probably thought we dated, but I never classified it that way...but if one party calls it a date and the other doesn't, is it still a relationship? Kind of a tree falling in the woods situation.
But this isn't exactly what this post is about. I like to hang out with guys. Not exclusively, of course, my girl friends are who keep me sane! But I have a lot of guy friends. What worries me, however, is the few of those friends that would endanger our years of friendship for the opportunity to have sex with me. Now, sitting down and having a conversation about it is one thing, that the possibility of wrecking our current relationship even crossed the guy's mind makes me more likely to ultimately sleep with him. But if he just tries to jump my bones one night after hitting the scene he is so not getting anywhere! Are we, or are we not adults? We're not stupid teenagers anymore and we generally know what ramifications our actions will have.
This scenario recently happened to me. At home, I just shook my head, marveled at how quickly sex could revert us back to kids. This single action, had I allowed it, would have completely doomed our friendship.
Bottom line, if impulse control is still as issue with you at 30+, you might need to re-examine your thought processes. I know mine to be the exact opposite, a burden of over-thinking that will occasionally overwhelm me to the point that I'll just ignore the chatter in my head all together, come what may. I tend to do this less in relationships now, thanks in part to this fast, to therapy, and to growing up.
And a note to all you guy friends out there. If you're pining for your girl friends, be prepared to have a sit-down talk about going down the romantic road with her. If you just fall into bed one night in all likelihood you two will never speak again after that (maybe once or twice, super awkwardly before you fall off). If you're willing to sacrifice a friendship, by all means, try jumping right in. But if you want to sustain a relationship, even after (God forbid) you break up, be an adult, think it through, and talk first.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
A brand new day
Well, well. Guess who just got back into the game.
It's a month and a half til I can look at men in a romantic light again, and with the early, gorgeous California spring coming in like a wave of cologne, I'm taking it like a long-wave surfer...slow, easy and with ultimate panache. I've got a couple dates lined up this weekend, with strikingly similar young men. Skinny, Jewish, awkward, adorable...I can't really get into why I find the guys I do attractive. No one seems to particularly understand it, not even me, but I can only follow my heart.
I dropped my number to a very cute bartender today too...I mean, seriously, bartenders must get like a hundred numbers a night. But he liked Serenity and we bonded over it. He struck me as a young thing, but I'm young at heart so it usually works out.
Take note, America. It's about to get old-fashioned wild up in here. In fact, my friend Rebeccah is living my opposite life, taking on the deluge while I'm in my dearth, and we are discussing a year of vice-versa come May. Not sure if we can live through that, either of us, so we will see.
Later, America.
It's a month and a half til I can look at men in a romantic light again, and with the early, gorgeous California spring coming in like a wave of cologne, I'm taking it like a long-wave surfer...slow, easy and with ultimate panache. I've got a couple dates lined up this weekend, with strikingly similar young men. Skinny, Jewish, awkward, adorable...I can't really get into why I find the guys I do attractive. No one seems to particularly understand it, not even me, but I can only follow my heart.
I dropped my number to a very cute bartender today too...I mean, seriously, bartenders must get like a hundred numbers a night. But he liked Serenity and we bonded over it. He struck me as a young thing, but I'm young at heart so it usually works out.
Take note, America. It's about to get old-fashioned wild up in here. In fact, my friend Rebeccah is living my opposite life, taking on the deluge while I'm in my dearth, and we are discussing a year of vice-versa come May. Not sure if we can live through that, either of us, so we will see.
Later, America.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Snow days
Well, well. It turns out there's some sort of gigantic storm dumping snow on the east and even making it cold down in Texas. Hm. I miss snow, but not that much.
Puxatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, as the east dug out of deep snow, so there's an early spring coming. Here in California we already knew. Those crazy yellow tree/shrub things are blooming already. I don't know what these trees are, but the leaves look a bit like time ferns, and they produce so much pollen that a ridiculous amount of people are allergic.
It's been such a sunny winter! Usually the cloudiness really gets me down and I get kinda sad. La Nina, thanks little lady. The lack of malaise has gotten me better focused on the task at hand, getting myself right before this fast is over in a couple months. I'm continuing with some personal therapy, trying to address my internal isolationism (as manifested by a fast, of course!) and I'm wading into a little dating. Nothing serious, just a cup of tea here and there, sitting on a hill or in the cemetery, taking in a view. I've got no agenda and I'm not pushing things one way or another. It's very...peaceful. The new phase of my life will be a serene one.
It's late, so I'm going to try to catch some sleep. I've been a little sleepless lately, just too much to think about. Work is mighty busy now, lots of events to coordinate. Hopefully everything works out.
Puxatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, as the east dug out of deep snow, so there's an early spring coming. Here in California we already knew. Those crazy yellow tree/shrub things are blooming already. I don't know what these trees are, but the leaves look a bit like time ferns, and they produce so much pollen that a ridiculous amount of people are allergic.
It's been such a sunny winter! Usually the cloudiness really gets me down and I get kinda sad. La Nina, thanks little lady. The lack of malaise has gotten me better focused on the task at hand, getting myself right before this fast is over in a couple months. I'm continuing with some personal therapy, trying to address my internal isolationism (as manifested by a fast, of course!) and I'm wading into a little dating. Nothing serious, just a cup of tea here and there, sitting on a hill or in the cemetery, taking in a view. I've got no agenda and I'm not pushing things one way or another. It's very...peaceful. The new phase of my life will be a serene one.
It's late, so I'm going to try to catch some sleep. I've been a little sleepless lately, just too much to think about. Work is mighty busy now, lots of events to coordinate. Hopefully everything works out.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
New Year
Well, blog, it's a new year. I made pretty standard resolutions: write more, weigh less and get my black ass to Dublin. I've never flow across the pond, and a big, gorgeous city like Dublin will probably be an awesome start. I also kinda want to take my sister's dog on a vacation. Like to a ranch or something so she can run around. She doesn't get much chance to run around where she is. For that matter, I don't get much chance to run around being in a city, so it'd be as much for me as her. I'll have to see if I can work that out.
Getting back into the grind is tough after the holidays. I had forgotten that. I think I forget every year. I'm looking forward to Spring when everything is both winding down and ramping up again. Also Spring will bring the second half of my odyssey, wherein I can experience the pleasure of other people to a full extent again.
The east coast, where I spent my holiday, was as nice as I remembered it. It snowed on Christmas day in Atlanta. In Atlanta! Thanks, El Nino. It was just enough to cover everything in white, but not enough to inconvenience my travel too much. A lot of people got stuck in airports for a while, but I managed to beat the weather. It isn't to say the experience was without convenience, though. My bag got delayed overnight and came in the next morning on the only flight that wasn't grounded by weather. Lucky me! I just was without my various sundries for a few hours.
My book, When Heaven Calls, should be re-available on Amazon quite soon, I am link-imaging it. We ran out of the first batch so got a new one cooked up. I'm ghostwriting a piece right now and working on a sequel to WHC as well. It's slow going with work and life, but as I said, resolution to get more writing in.
Hope you holidays weren't a hassle, world, and I'll talk more in the new year!
Getting back into the grind is tough after the holidays. I had forgotten that. I think I forget every year. I'm looking forward to Spring when everything is both winding down and ramping up again. Also Spring will bring the second half of my odyssey, wherein I can experience the pleasure of other people to a full extent again.
The east coast, where I spent my holiday, was as nice as I remembered it. It snowed on Christmas day in Atlanta. In Atlanta! Thanks, El Nino. It was just enough to cover everything in white, but not enough to inconvenience my travel too much. A lot of people got stuck in airports for a while, but I managed to beat the weather. It isn't to say the experience was without convenience, though. My bag got delayed overnight and came in the next morning on the only flight that wasn't grounded by weather. Lucky me! I just was without my various sundries for a few hours.
My book, When Heaven Calls, should be re-available on Amazon quite soon, I am link-imaging it. We ran out of the first batch so got a new one cooked up. I'm ghostwriting a piece right now and working on a sequel to WHC as well. It's slow going with work and life, but as I said, resolution to get more writing in.
Hope you holidays weren't a hassle, world, and I'll talk more in the new year!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Three months...
All right, well I've got about three months until The Fast is over. With this in mind, I'm starting to lift my chin up and pay attention more to people from a romantic standpoint. I even flirted a little the other day. I'm a liiiittle rusty, but it's kinda like jumping on a bike.
So a young man wandered into my purview. I'd always kind of thought he was intriguing...dark haired, quiet, different, very much my type in theory, but I'm on fast and we worked together so I pretty much ignored the inkling. But we no longer work together, and here I am on my way out of this fast. We ended up at the same restaurant with a group of friends and we spent the night chatting primarily with one another. Nice start. He's got this intense stare. I like it a lot. I don't anticipate him contacting me, however. Remember me saying he was quiet? Code for awkward. I LOVE awkward. But it does make interaction difficult.
Also there are the holidays coming up. These are intrinsically lonely times. I'd like to one day settle down and get married...the kid part remains to be seen, but maybe that would evolve. In this same vein, I found out my ex-boyfriend from college just got engaged. Awesome.
Okay, winter here is just miserable, rainy and cold, but it also comes with the knowledge that in two-three months the sun's going to be out for eight months straight, and the hills that have only just regained their emerald luster will begin to fade to a brilliant gold, and about a billion plants will spring up, wildflowers in the glens while hiking, and the air will smell sweet in the heat courtesy of the sexy Ponderosa pine. Man, I love California. When it quits raining I need to get back to exercising and snap this body back into shape. After all, no one's seen me naked since frickin' March.
So a young man wandered into my purview. I'd always kind of thought he was intriguing...dark haired, quiet, different, very much my type in theory, but I'm on fast and we worked together so I pretty much ignored the inkling. But we no longer work together, and here I am on my way out of this fast. We ended up at the same restaurant with a group of friends and we spent the night chatting primarily with one another. Nice start. He's got this intense stare. I like it a lot. I don't anticipate him contacting me, however. Remember me saying he was quiet? Code for awkward. I LOVE awkward. But it does make interaction difficult.
Also there are the holidays coming up. These are intrinsically lonely times. I'd like to one day settle down and get married...the kid part remains to be seen, but maybe that would evolve. In this same vein, I found out my ex-boyfriend from college just got engaged. Awesome.
Okay, winter here is just miserable, rainy and cold, but it also comes with the knowledge that in two-three months the sun's going to be out for eight months straight, and the hills that have only just regained their emerald luster will begin to fade to a brilliant gold, and about a billion plants will spring up, wildflowers in the glens while hiking, and the air will smell sweet in the heat courtesy of the sexy Ponderosa pine. Man, I love California. When it quits raining I need to get back to exercising and snap this body back into shape. After all, no one's seen me naked since frickin' March.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
A Revelation
Hi blog,
Alright, well I've been spending a lot of time alone lately (duh) for the purposes of figuring myself out. I'm enjoying taking classes and exploring my inner-space, but for the first time since I can really remember, I actually feel lonely. I've always been running too fast, going too many places, doing too many activities to ever feel it.
It isn't a sad kind of lonely, like needing someone to fill some void, to make me whole. It's more that I just realized human beings are intrinsically social creatures. I mean, I'm completely fine by myself, but with the right person I'm better. That's what I need to look for. It isn't ok to settle for who's around, thinking it will grow into something comfortable and convenient. It might even be a struggle sometimes, but to reach another level of ... me, I need others. Be they friends, family, or significant partner, others are a very important part of who I am and who I'll be.
So as I was browsing through J-date, wondering if I was even allowed to look, I laughed at my interest and closed my browser. I can't even get into this stuff until I'm free to get out there and jump in with all my clothes on. All in or nothin'! Til April, if someone interesting walks up to me in person, I can keep them in mind for Spring. By then I'll be downright rusty on social gatherings and will need someone to guide me, show the ropes again, then help me climb to brand new heights.
Reading:
Alright, well I've been spending a lot of time alone lately (duh) for the purposes of figuring myself out. I'm enjoying taking classes and exploring my inner-space, but for the first time since I can really remember, I actually feel lonely. I've always been running too fast, going too many places, doing too many activities to ever feel it.
It isn't a sad kind of lonely, like needing someone to fill some void, to make me whole. It's more that I just realized human beings are intrinsically social creatures. I mean, I'm completely fine by myself, but with the right person I'm better. That's what I need to look for. It isn't ok to settle for who's around, thinking it will grow into something comfortable and convenient. It might even be a struggle sometimes, but to reach another level of ... me, I need others. Be they friends, family, or significant partner, others are a very important part of who I am and who I'll be.
So as I was browsing through J-date, wondering if I was even allowed to look, I laughed at my interest and closed my browser. I can't even get into this stuff until I'm free to get out there and jump in with all my clothes on. All in or nothin'! Til April, if someone interesting walks up to me in person, I can keep them in mind for Spring. By then I'll be downright rusty on social gatherings and will need someone to guide me, show the ropes again, then help me climb to brand new heights.
Reading:
Sunday, November 28, 2010
East vs West
Well hello Blog, and good morning to you, viewers.
This might be a little bit quick, because I'm running out the door to go see the new visitor's center at the Capital building, but holy moley. As a people watcher, I just gotta say, people in California are inordinately pretty in comparison to the rest of the country. I'm off on Thanksgiving holiday, away from the beloved bay area, and I am just coming to realize that I am a spoiled brat. The mindset, the hipster kids, the over-all stylishness...California kicks ass on all counts.
Well, East Coast, I'm in my old home-town haunts. Wow me.
Currently reading:
This might be a little bit quick, because I'm running out the door to go see the new visitor's center at the Capital building, but holy moley. As a people watcher, I just gotta say, people in California are inordinately pretty in comparison to the rest of the country. I'm off on Thanksgiving holiday, away from the beloved bay area, and I am just coming to realize that I am a spoiled brat. The mindset, the hipster kids, the over-all stylishness...California kicks ass on all counts.
Well, East Coast, I'm in my old home-town haunts. Wow me.
Currently reading:
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