A Revelation

Hi blog,

Alright, well I've been spending a lot of time alone lately (duh) for the purposes of figuring myself out.  I'm enjoying taking classes and exploring my inner-space, but for the first time since I can really remember, I actually feel lonely.  I've always been running too fast, going too many places, doing too many activities to ever feel it.

It isn't a sad kind of lonely, like needing someone to fill some void, to make me whole.  It's more that I just realized human beings are intrinsically social creatures.  I mean, I'm completely fine by myself, but with the right person I'm better.  That's what I need to look for.  It isn't ok to settle for who's around, thinking it will grow into something comfortable and convenient.  It might even be a struggle sometimes, but to reach another level of ... me, I need others.  Be they friends, family, or significant partner, others are a very important part of who I am and who I'll be.

So as I was browsing through J-date, wondering if I was even allowed to look, I laughed at my interest and closed my browser.  I can't even get into this stuff until I'm free to get out there and jump in with all my clothes on.  All in or nothin'!  Til April, if someone interesting walks up to me in person, I can keep them in mind for Spring.  By then I'll be downright rusty on social gatherings and will need someone to guide me, show the ropes again, then help me climb to brand new heights.

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