The Loved and the Lost

My friend A told me to post about this. The two pieces of information she got from me today over dinner was that I:

1) made a pact with a friend of mine to marry him if we were single at 45 and

2) had to dump a guy I had no idea I was going out with in the first place.

Yowsa!

The Loved: This is my friend L. We were roommates back when I first moved to California about 6 years ago and he was so shy at first he didn't talk to me for the first, like, four months or so. I always thought he was the cutest thing, with his curly dark-blonde hair and band t-shirts. We actually bonded over music, as I played drums in a punk band at the time, and one or two of his friends' bands ended up playing shows with us. As roommates we never crossed into the taboo kingdom of a romantic relationship, as that would be uncomfortable for everyone (though it somehow didn't stop me from making the mistake with other roommates. Maybe I always thought L was special that way). It was only once we moved in separate ways, on to graduate schools in different places, that I realized I missed him like crazy.



It takes a lot for me to consider a person a real friend, and L made the cut.

My co-worker actually recently got engaged to a friend of hers. They were in the same boat as L and me, living in different places and meeting up to go on a trips. They took a trip to Mexico for a week, realized there was a spark there, and came back engaged. It made me think, and I proposed the 15 year definite. L, to my surprise, was absolutely excited about it.

L's sensitive, soft spoken, introverted, and gives awesome hugs. That tug in my chest every time I visit him, or he me, and we have to part again is hard to ignore. Well, 15 years and he's all mine!



The Lost: This is a dude named T. He's a friend of a friend and lives in Oakland. I met him while hanging with a very good friend of mine, and he's easy to talk to, very attentive, picks me up from my house (this is huge) and we go do fun stuff round the East Bay. The problem is I'm not attracted to him. He's fun! I like to hang out with him, but he met me during this year-long break, and he's just too nice. What's to say? Defeatist of me, perhaps, as he's available, understanding, sweet, etc. etc. but does nothing for me. Why are there so many great men out there I just can't be into? Anyone else have the same issues?

My novel When Heaven Calls

Just a heads up, viewing public, my most-awesome book When Heaven Calls is available on www.amazon.com in print or for your Kindle, and you can review it on www.goodreads.com. Any review is good, so please drop a line.

Remember, you can get a Kindle app for your iPhone, iPod Touch or iPad from the App Store through iTunes.  Now all you tech heads can read my book anytime, anywhere.

Of course When Heaven Calls remains available directly through sakura publishing as well, and if you buy it there you get a discount.

Happy reading!  And if you're not reading my book, who cares, you're reading, right?  Support the written word!

Pride and Prejudice

I just watched this film for the 13th time (thereabouts), the 2 hour version with Keira Knightley, not the 8 hour version with Colin Firth, and I dream of a relationship that begins this way. Lizzie's relationship, anyway. Taciturn, analytical, aloof ... thus describes everything I look for in a man. I like a challenge!

Jane's relationship in this movie... cute, but uninteresting. If you're just nice and attentive and available, I'm probably interested for five minutes and over it.

Elizabeth though. That relationship took some work. I enjoy that immediately. Is that a flaw? That I enjoy the predictable roadblocks of Hollywood cinema? Perhaps all women suffer this affliction because of movies, TV and romance novels. Any input from the viewing public?

A reflection

From an e-mail with my good friend D, he asked quite innocently if I was some sort of heartbreaker he didn't know about and I said:
"...Yes, I am a heartbreaker, though by no real design on my part. I'm analytical, so the "falling" part of love doesn't happen for me. I have to rationalize it. That's probably why I like to write stories where the two are just so perfectly matched. It takes the guess-work out. In my own relationships, though, I'm like five dates in before I'm like...Nope. And by then, for a faller, the deal is done. Factor in reading one of my stories and I could have a good old fashioned stalker case. That might make a good story...man tries to convince me he's like the story, the only one I'm matched with through seven feats of love taken directly from a book...."
I believe this was in response to why I was so uncomfortable with the possibility of being famous, and people wanting to know my name. It freaks me out a little bit. It's super helpful to address, or at least recognize these things early. It'll help me get over them in therapy.

Paranormal Activity

I just saw this movie, in reference to writing a horror script. I do not see what the big fuss was over this thing...outside of it propbably being super cheap to make. The story was sooo predictable, and not scary. I watch the Discover Channel's A Haunting, (they had done an episode that the movie A Haunting in Connecticuit was based on) so I had seen all of this stuff before. Maybe it would have been scarier in the movie theater (shrugs).
Horror day wasn't bad. I wish I had re-rented The Ring. That is the only horror movie's I've seen that scared me enough to affect my actions. I had to leave my TV on the night I first saw it, turned to the Cartoon Network. No dead girl's popping out of the Cartoon Network.

The Fast: diversions

So I have found the best thing for me so far is to keep busy. I'm always working on about four stories at a time, but I am also stepping into the quick and dirty world of screenplays. I just saw the trailer (finally) for a beauty of a terrible horror movie called Birdemic. I must see this film. I'm currently collaborating on a horror script so I think I better bone up. I'm going to watch Paranormal as well...maybe I'll make it a whole horror day.

Birdemic: Shock And Terror Official Theatrical Trailer from Severin Films on Vimeo.

As for diversions, here are the other stories/screenplays I'm working on now:

Jonze: about a jonzing vampire (novel)

Untitled screenplay: about internet dating

The Perfect Couple: about an Asbergers man and sadist woman

Etc.

Life is GOOOD.

Portland trip

I just returned from Portland! What a great place. The weather was gorgeous, and there were so, SO many adorable hipster guys running around. Oddly enough, it seemed like it would be all too easy to get a guy I loved to look at there. The chase is indeed a lot more fun.

And in a rapidly interesting-er development: my friend B wants in on this phenomenon I created. We're thinking a collaboration: The Drought and the Deluge. Me, I remain celibate for a year. She, she opens herself to all kinds of relationships, casual or committal for the year. See if one turns out more successfully on the relationship front.

I have also begun reading some lit on virginity and the mythos and cultural/religious connotations that follow it. Having grown up Catholic, the notion was held in high esteem, quite obviously. I am not sure, however, if that notion wasn't just something old-school, propogated by a male-dominated Catholic regime attempting to assert control over the single area on the planet they cannot and will not ever understand.

But who am I to pass judgment? This is why I am defecting to experts in sociology, religiosity, and psychology (in addition to friends) to provide me with insight and multiple viewpoints. This blog will ideally offer a lot of thoughts on the subject, but nothing close to "the answer." It will hopefully provide a fun story along the way as well.