The Loved and the Lost

My friend A told me to post about this. The two pieces of information she got from me today over dinner was that I:

1) made a pact with a friend of mine to marry him if we were single at 45 and

2) had to dump a guy I had no idea I was going out with in the first place.

Yowsa!

The Loved: This is my friend L. We were roommates back when I first moved to California about 6 years ago and he was so shy at first he didn't talk to me for the first, like, four months or so. I always thought he was the cutest thing, with his curly dark-blonde hair and band t-shirts. We actually bonded over music, as I played drums in a punk band at the time, and one or two of his friends' bands ended up playing shows with us. As roommates we never crossed into the taboo kingdom of a romantic relationship, as that would be uncomfortable for everyone (though it somehow didn't stop me from making the mistake with other roommates. Maybe I always thought L was special that way). It was only once we moved in separate ways, on to graduate schools in different places, that I realized I missed him like crazy.



It takes a lot for me to consider a person a real friend, and L made the cut.

My co-worker actually recently got engaged to a friend of hers. They were in the same boat as L and me, living in different places and meeting up to go on a trips. They took a trip to Mexico for a week, realized there was a spark there, and came back engaged. It made me think, and I proposed the 15 year definite. L, to my surprise, was absolutely excited about it.

L's sensitive, soft spoken, introverted, and gives awesome hugs. That tug in my chest every time I visit him, or he me, and we have to part again is hard to ignore. Well, 15 years and he's all mine!



The Lost: This is a dude named T. He's a friend of a friend and lives in Oakland. I met him while hanging with a very good friend of mine, and he's easy to talk to, very attentive, picks me up from my house (this is huge) and we go do fun stuff round the East Bay. The problem is I'm not attracted to him. He's fun! I like to hang out with him, but he met me during this year-long break, and he's just too nice. What's to say? Defeatist of me, perhaps, as he's available, understanding, sweet, etc. etc. but does nothing for me. Why are there so many great men out there I just can't be into? Anyone else have the same issues?