Okay, America. You win. I am going into what Hanne Blank (in her book Virgin: The Untouched History) would call the avoidant kind of virginity. I'm fully not interested in having an opposite-sex relationship of any kind, involving sex or not. No babies, no diseases, no drama. Also, for my mental transformation to work, I am going to need some exclusive ME time. This is intrinsically selfish, and I cannot pay attention to another person under these conditions.
You may ask: What, pray tell, forced this decision?
And the answer, though banal is: A man.
One of the nicest men on the planet, actually. I looked at him, all brimming with hope, and I knew if this relationship continued, with my heart and head elsewhere, I would hurt him. So I had to cut and run -- and I I officially put the kaibosh on further fraternization. Hey, if I can't impose tough rules on MYSELF, how will I ever follow the directions of any relationship professional?
I'm actually not sure if I ever declared full stop on relationships before now. I thought for a moment how awesome the drama would be if I kept stringing a few men along, but, then, life has enough drama without intentionally pouring it on. What a day. I'm a tired little recluse.
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